I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Randomize
