You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
