So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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