i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
