somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
