wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
organizing the empties. That sober.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
