is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
