i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
