There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
