He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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