i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
