Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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