He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
