It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
