I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
