i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize