you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
