I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
