I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
