Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize