Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
