So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
