So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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