i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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