You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
She needs sedatives and a leash
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
