So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize