I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I just blew my weed a kiss
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
