Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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