just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
