i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
