I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
