hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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