i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
