If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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