hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I need to calm my uterus...
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Randomize
