is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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