she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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