I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
