I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
