My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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