So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Randomize
