Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Randomize
