I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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