Kiss
Puke
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
