Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
