Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
