Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
