I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
wow bdsm is so cute
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
