a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
