Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
