So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
