Don't you send me to vm
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
