Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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