it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
