Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
