How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
