now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize