My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize