i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
