i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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