I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
how does that bad decision feel?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
