i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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