sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
