My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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