don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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