Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
