he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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