i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
