She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
