just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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